Two ultra short stories

Nursing Homes and Farting in Public

Though the nursing home was comfortable, the care good, and the food excellent, Fred didn’t like it. “Take me home,” he said every time a family member came to visit.

When his son arrived one day he found him sitting in the lobby in a wheelchair with pillows stuffed on either side. “What’s with the pillows, Dad? Having balance problems?”

Fred gave his son a disgusted look. “No! The pillows keep me from leaning sideways. They don’t let you fart here. Now take me to my room so we can talk in private.”

When Age Makes a Difference: A Medical Misunderstanding

He is 93 years old, ill, living in an assisted living facility, and he doesn’t like it.

“I want out!” he said the day I walked in to see him.

“How do you mean ‘out?” I replied.

He looked at me as if I lacked the good sense of a plate of beans.

“Do you mean if I was closer to 93 and in your situation, I’d have a better stab at understanding?”

“That’s about it.”

“I thought so.”

“My doctor told me yesterday that I could live another twenty years. God, what an awful thought!”Shuddering, shook his head.

“Did you kick him when he said that?”

“No,” he replied, laughing, “but I wanted to.”


About gwpj

Originally from Seattle, I now live in Sapporo, Japan, where I write, explore this city, read widely, and ask questions about things that i see as important. I'm also an author, with three novels published ("The Old Man and The Monkey", "Grandfather and The Raven", and "Bear: a story about a boy and his unusual dog"). For more information about my writing, drop by my website, at
This entry was posted in Flash fiction, George Polley, Humor and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Two ultra short stories

  1. Thanks again for the smile!

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